Hello Everyone,
The handsome picture above is George. George was rescued from a puppy mill last summer. He and his mother, Martha, were rescued together. They were both very thin and in poor health and had to be treated for heart-worms and other physical conditions due to their environment. Puppy mills treat animals as a commodity – something of use to create products (puppies) for selling. The dogs lives are not valued, only the money they can bring in. In this abusive environment their trust of people and of themselves is certainly not nurtured, just the opposite, it is stripped brutally away from them.
My oldest Golden Retriever, Angel, died last summer. I rescued her when she was 2 years old and she had 13 good years with me, my family, and our other Golden, Daisy. This breed is definitely pack animals so I decided to rescue another Golden. But instead I became a foster parent for AGA (Adopt a Golden Atlanta). I became George and Martha’s foster. Daisy, being a balanced dog, accepted them into our home unconditionally.
George and Martha were very dependant on each other so in order to prevent more trauma AGA wanted to keep them together when adopted. For three months we would go to the monthly adoption day where potential adopters came to see the 50 or more rescued Golden’s. Not all of the Golden’s were from puppy mills, some were found on the streets, but most were given up by families who either couldn’t afford them or couldn’t care for them anymore.
During that three months I worked to rehabilitate George and Martha in order to build trust. George was most challenged. He had been kept outside in a small cage all of his 4 years so he was fearful in my large backyard and the anxiety caused him to go round and round in a small circle. He wouldn’t come to me. When he was in the house he picked out a corner and that is where he would stay. He was afraid of everything. every noise, every movement, and even afraid to eat his food.
You’ve probably guessed by now that I adopted both of them. Martha was doing very well and George was beginning to make some progress with trusting me. I didn’t want to disrupt their life again and I was fortunate to have the extra time that was needed to work with them.
It’s been 6 months now and George is doing so well. He is beginning to act like a “dog”. He walks around and sniffs the backyard, he also sniffs Martha and Daisy’s butts and the cats butt – which is very normal for animals. That’s one way they communicate with each other. He picks up toys, isn’t quite sure yet what to do with them, but he’s learning from Daisy. He goes in and out of the doggy door by himself to go potty. When I go outside with him he will come to me. He also comes back inside the house on his own, whereas before he would stay outside and cry, anxious and afraid to come back in the house.
He isn’t afraid to come into the kitchen to eat. He feels free to go into other rooms in the house and doesn’t stay in a corner anymore. He sleeps beside my bed and will lay his head beside me so I will pet him. He will eat out of my hand and will push through Martha and Daisy so I will pet him. The puppy in him is coming alive. It warms my heart to be a part of and to see the transformation he has made.
George is finding the courage to take risks and step out of what had become his comfort zone. He is beginning to see that there is nothing to be afraid of. He is learning to trust himself and in return is beginning to trust me. The fear that triggered George and his reactions to it were based on past treatment of abuse and the memories that were left in his subconscious mind. He’s beginning to recognize that trusting me and coming to me represents good things – I give him treats, pats on the head, and words of praise.
There were occasions when I would need to take a time out and refocus because I would get frustrated. When I get frustrated the feeling of being helpless comes over me. That gave me an opportunity to practice, not only patience with George, but patience with myself. Animals feel our emotions, so when I was feeling frustrated and helpless it triggered George’s fear and anxiety sending him back to his fearful behavior. Change doesn’t happen overnight, it takes focus, determination, and patience. For some it takes months, even years. George isn’t over his fear and probably never will be completely. He may never be what some would call a “normal dog”, but then again what’s normal? George is okay right where he is. He is beginning to sense that he is in a safe place where he can practice being the beautiful, loving puppy that has always been inside of him.
We have all known people who are so fearful it effects their quality of life. All of us have been there. Some people have learned to hide it through many different disguises. We are very good at rationalizing, blaming, making excuses, and beating ourselves up. Dogs don’t think like we do so it is very evident when their life is controlled by fear. They don’t try to rationalize, blame, make excuses, or beat themselves up. Dogs like George do block themselves off emotionally and possibly never learn to trust people. George doesn’t think about whether someone likes him or not, he only knows how he is treated and that determines his behavior and quality of life. The treatment he received in the past created fear in him. His innocence and natural ability to be a playful, loving, and trusting puppy was never nurtured, it was taken from him, and in it’s place he learned to be fearful, doubtful, distrusting, and anxious.
Human beings, as children, can also have their innocence and natural ability to play, love, and trust taken from them as well. People, unlike animals, do have the ability to reason, rationalize, come up with excuses, and blame others for their fear, distrust, and unhappiness. We push our fears down and hide them from others – or at least we think we do. We also have the ability to make different choices and use our ability to reason in a productive way. We have access to knowledge and tools to recognize how fear was created in us. We become aware that fear isn’t our true nature and that we have the power within us to change and to no longer be fearful of what others do, say, or think. We can learn to trust ourselves and our own inner knowing. We can create a new life, one that heals and brings us the happiness we want.
Words can’t express the joy I feel as I have watched George’s transformation from a fearful dog to his natural state of being a happy, playful puppy. He is beginning to trust himself which supports his trust in me. I’m providing George with a safe place, but it is George who is doing the work and taking the risks to trust again. I feel the same joy when I am able to provide a safe place for my clients to be who they are now. Through my acceptance, patience, and trust they begin to recognize the natural beauty that has always been inside of them just waiting to feel safe to come out. Whether it be a person or a dog, it’s a wonderful feeling being a part of their transformation from a fear based life into a life full of abundance, love, trust, and happiness.
George is a wonderful example to all of us that anything is possible. When we are surrounded by people we can trust and that want the best for us we can change. Of course George didn’t pick me – anyway I don’t think he did – but we can choose the people we want to be around on a regular basis. Choose people that will nurture you in a loving, accepting way. People that trust you to know what is best for you. People that encourage you, love you, and accept you as you are. They don’t expect you to do things in a certain way, they don’t judge you, but instead they encourage you to be yourself and to make your own choices. These people recognize that we are all on our own journey and it’s okay.
When we continue to stay in a negative environment most of the time, negativity is what we continue to attract. Negativity keeps us down, depressed, overwhelmed, and unhappy. When you choose to be around people that smile and laugh a lot and are happy; people that praise you, hug you, encourage and accept you, this is what you will begin to attract into your life.
I would love to hear any comments or insights you have to share regarding my blog – “Learning to Trust Yourself”. If you have a story you’d like to share regarding a special animal in your life I would love to hear it.
Sending love and blessings, Joyce
