I have learned that my happiness doesn’t depend upon who I am, what I do, or what I have; it depends solely upon what I think.  As I become more aware of my negative and self defeating thoughts I am able to focus and start each day by thinking of all the things I have to be grateful for.  This shifts my focus from thinking about the things I don’t have, a place of unhappiness, to the place of recognizing and appreciating the abundance and gifts that I have in my life now, the place of happiness.

Taking time to meet our own needs may seem selfish to some, but it’s just the opposite, it’s the best gift you can give to yourself. If your not giving yourself the gift of self love and self care then ask yourself why and the answer is most likely fear.  I believe that true happiness comes from within and from our ability to love and care for our own needs.  When fear is in control we make choices that are based on what we think happiness should look like.  When fear is in control we believe that happiness comes from outside of ourself – our circumstances, money, people, and accomplishments.

Fear keeps us in expectations – expecting our happiness to come from outside of ourself instead of from within.  As we recognize and then take responsibility for  our needs getting met and for creating our own happiness miracles begin to happen.  Happiness is our true nature and if we aren’t nurturing ourself first we run out of energy and passion and sadly unhappiness becomes our state of being.

When fear and expectations run our life we have to consciously make the choice to stop, focus, and actually think about what really does make us happy.  Sometimes we need to try new things in order to know what we enjoy or don’t enjoy doing.  Without trying, stepping out and taking risks we will never find out what true happiness means to us and how we can live it everyday. Instead we will  keep looking for happiness outside of our self – through people, things, and places.

I think we can all agree that there is no short cuts to happiness.  Even a happy person does not experience joy/happiness 24 hours a day.  A happy person can have a bad day but still experience pleasure in the small things in life.  If you’re not feeling happy today, step back, choose to consciously see the things in your life you do have to appreciate and focus on gratitude.  Write daily gratitudes to support you in recognizing and embracing your true state of being happy.  Begin to notice when you are in a state of happiness and note the feeling and think about what thought or action created it.

Something that has helped me is to practice daily never saying or doing anything that disempowers myself or others.  No matter what the challenge, there is always a way to approach it in a way that can empower all concerned.  In this way you can find the perfect solution.  Our thoughts can either disempower us or empower us – choose the good ones.

Don’t postpone happiness until you reach a certain goal, like getting a promotion, retiring, taking that perfect vacation, communicating better, or having the great relationship – these things are short lived.  Consciously choose to take the time to focus everyday – to recognize the good things in your life and what you do have control over.

There is no rule or special formula that can make a person constantly happy. Instead, Happiness comes from developing positive thoughts and behaviors that lead to fulfilling social relationships, enjoyable work, better communication, and in taking great care of our mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical needs.  We gain a sense that our life really does have meaning, it does matter, and that we are an integral part of the wholeness of our Universe.

Take the time today to focus, meditate, listen, acknowledge yourself- your small wins and victories, and consciously choose to recognize what you do have to be grateful for.  Be thankful for what you do have now, embrace it, only then can you create the happiness and life that you desire.  This is an essential component of happiness.

You are worthy and deserve nothing less than to be in your natural state of being happy.

Warmly, Joyce