Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

Eliminating Expectations

Saturday, July 3rd, 2010

I read an article recently about a researcher, neuroscientist Dr. John Lilly.  He has worked with Dolphins for over 20 years and suggests that the dolphin’s brain waves equate with those waves that, in humans, accompany the meditative state.  This may explain why people who spend some time in the water with dolphins describe the experience as transcendental.

According to Dr. Lilly, by reason of the dolphin’s peaceful, content, and compassionate nature, the dolphin has an energy vibration which exerts a powerful and positive influence on humans.  In order for us to exert a powerful and positive influence with others we need to accept our self and others for who we are and begin to recognize and embrace the beauty that is in all of us.  When we can accomplish this then our nature will become that of peaceful, content, and compassionate.  A person who is inwardly truly happy will make other people feel encouraged just by his or her presence and the stronger the personality, the more influential it will be.

Accepting our self and others for who we are, weaknesses and strengths, means letting go of our expectations.  Expectations can set us up for disappointment and set others up for failure and future blame.  We can’t control what other people choose to say or do.  We can only control our own choices.

How can we eliminate expectations? We can turn them into intentions. Once we have identified our expectations, there is much greater possibility of attaining Freedom from being disappointed in others behavior or reaction to us.  You can learn which expectations are realistic and which ones are unrealistic.  You can learn how to reframe your expectations into intention. Expectations are what you think ought to happen as a result of what you do, say, or plan.  It’s dependent upon an outside source.  Whereas, intentions are your approach to life based on the person you truly are.  Ask yourself these questions:  ”How do I want to show up today?”   “How do I want to be in this moment?”  Then allow your internal beauty and your spiritual essence to determine your choices.  It’s dependent only on you – your internal source of wisdom.

What’s so wonderful is that when you act out of intention instead of expectations, you are more likely to experience positive outcomes.  When you approach life with intention instead of expectations, you expand the possibility for mutual satisfaction and support.  When living in intention, accountability is a priority.  Our life is in our hands, no one else’s.  We learn that blaming another is just wasting away our time, energy, and creativity.  This leads to regret and resentment, which leads to losing our power, our choices, and our courage to shine – our courage to be the person we want to be and the person we were meant to be.

All that you seek or desire is in you. It’s not in your environment or the help of others; it is not in luck or chance; it is in your self alone.  Trusting yourself and setting intentions will support you in moving forward and living the life you desire.

Eliminating expectations is a process of transformation.  Many times it can be uncomfortable and scary so having support from someone you trust is a must. Sometimes it can be a friend or relative, other times you may need someone more experienced in this field of change and transformation.

Your willingness to take the step of investing in your life is well worth what you will receive.  You will begin to deliberately create and attract the people and things that support the quality of life you want and desire.

“Live the Life Your Soul Intended” –Rhonda Britten – author of Fearless Living. “You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be” –Wayne W. Dyer.   “Do not fear going forward slowly, fear only to stand still” –Chinese Proverb

I would love to hear your comments on “Eliminating Expectations”.  Please leave a comment in the space below.  If you want to receive my newsletter click on “Unlocking Your Vision Newsletter” – left hand side of this page. You can also watch my short “Inspirational Dolphin Movie” – left hand side of this page – and sign up at the end.

Sending You Love and Courage to be the Person You were Meant to BE!

Joyce Henderson


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Living in Freedom

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

To celebrate Independence Day I’m offering Four Weeks to learn how to live in Freedom. The teleclass begins Tuesday, July 6th.  To learn more about the class - Click here to register

This class is about living in Freedom which begins with learning how to put yourself and your needs first.  This isn’t selfish, it’s living smart.  As you put your needs first you will be nurturing yourself.  You’ll be taking responsibility for your own life and happiness.  You’ll begin to live a life of joy, fulfillment, contentment, pleasure, abundance, good health and emotional well being.

When something is important to us we always find the resources in order to get it. This class is one of those important things that will not only bring you value as you attend, but will benefit you for the rest of your life.  This is something worth your time and expense.  I want you to have this opportunity to learn how to live in Freedom.

Please click on this link to learn more about the class and to register:

One last thought – I know from experience that if you wait until you feel like it or until you feel you can do it, it will never happen!  Do this for yourself.  I look forward to hearing you on the call.

Check out my Dolphin Video – www.thedolphinmovie.com

Joyce Henderson
Certified Fearless Living Coach
Certified Radical Manifestation Coach
Certified Life Purpose and Career Coach
www.unlockingyourvision.com
www.thedolphinmovie.com
joyce@unlockingyourvision.com
678-380-7361
Unlocking Your Vision, 941 Cedar Trace SW, Lilburn, Georgia 30047, USA

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What is Happiness and How Do You Achieve it?

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

I have learned that my happiness doesn’t depend upon who I am, what I do, or what I have; it depends solely upon what I think.  As I become more aware of my negative and self defeating thoughts I am able to focus and start each day by thinking of all the things I have to be grateful for.  This shifts my focus from thinking about the things I don’t have, a place of unhappiness, to the place of recognizing and appreciating the abundance and gifts that I have in my life now, the place of happiness.

Taking time to meet our own needs may seem selfish to some, but it’s just the opposite, it’s the best gift you can give to yourself. If your not giving yourself the gift of self love and self care then ask yourself why and the answer is most likely fear.  I believe that true happiness comes from within and from our ability to love and care for our own needs.  When fear is in control we make choices that are based on what we think happiness should look like.  When fear is in control we believe that happiness comes from outside of ourself – our circumstances, money, people, and accomplishments.

Fear keeps us in expectations – expecting our happiness to come from outside of ourself instead of from within.  As we recognize and then take responsibility for  our needs getting met and for creating our own happiness miracles begin to happen.  Happiness is our true nature and if we aren’t nurturing ourself first we run out of energy and passion and sadly unhappiness becomes our state of being.

When fear and expectations run our life we have to consciously make the choice to stop, focus, and actually think about what really does make us happy.  Sometimes we need to try new things in order to know what we enjoy or don’t enjoy doing.  Without trying, stepping out and taking risks we will never find out what true happiness means to us and how we can live it everyday. Instead we will  keep looking for happiness outside of our self – through people, things, and places.

I think we can all agree that there is no short cuts to happiness.  Even a happy person does not experience joy/happiness 24 hours a day.  A happy person can have a bad day but still experience pleasure in the small things in life.  If you’re not feeling happy today, step back, choose to consciously see the things in your life you do have to appreciate and focus on gratitude.  Write daily gratitudes to support you in recognizing and embracing your true state of being happy.  Begin to notice when you are in a state of happiness and note the feeling and think about what thought or action created it.

Something that has helped me is to practice daily never saying or doing anything that disempowers myself or others.  No matter what the challenge, there is always a way to approach it in a way that can empower all concerned.  In this way you can find the perfect solution.  Our thoughts can either disempower us or empower us – choose the good ones.

Don’t postpone happiness until you reach a certain goal, like getting a promotion, retiring, taking that perfect vacation, communicating better, or having the great relationship – these things are short lived.  Consciously choose to take the time to focus everyday – to recognize the good things in your life and what you do have control over.

There is no rule or special formula that can make a person constantly happy. Instead, Happiness comes from developing positive thoughts and behaviors that lead to fulfilling social relationships, enjoyable work, better communication, and in taking great care of our mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical needs.  We gain a sense that our life really does have meaning, it does matter, and that we are an integral part of the wholeness of our Universe.

Take the time today to focus, meditate, listen, acknowledge yourself- your small wins and victories, and consciously choose to recognize what you do have to be grateful for.  Be thankful for what you do have now, embrace it, only then can you create the happiness and life that you desire.  This is an essential component of happiness.

You are worthy and deserve nothing less than to be in your natural state of being happy.

Warmly, Joyce

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You Decide if You Want to be Happy

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

You Decide if You Want to be Happy is something that I believed yet was confused by the fact that I allowed my circumstances to constantly get in the way of my being happy?  Circumstances that triggered fear; fear of not being lovable, not being good enough, and not being smart enough.  As I continued to allow the circumstances of my life to trigger the fear, my happiness became less and less, and unhappiness became my “state of being”.  Not because I chose it but because I didn’t understand how to stop it.  Fear was in control of my life.  In that state of being my feelings lied to me, my thoughts betrayed me as I rationalized and made excuses, and my actions became self destructive.

We all strive for Happiness in life.  Like many, I thought that achievements such as material things, money, the perfect marriage, education, family, a certain job, and financial/social status would make me happy, otherwise I must be less than everyone else.   Through my own pursuit of happiness I have learned that these achievements have little to do with my happiness or with my value as a person.  As I continued to live with my expectations of what happiness should look like it seemed to further escape my mental grasp and became even harder for me to express or define.

Happiness that came from my achievements, possessions, people, or temporary pleasures worked for awhile but eventually their power to deliver happiness faded.  The only lasting happiness comes from within each of us.  Sounds simple yet not easy to understand or do.

Life does throw us some uncomfortable and sometimes painful circumstances.  But as we begin to recognize that in these circumstances our life is continually sprinkled with ample opportunities for discovering happiness.  Circumstances provide us with opportunities to recognize how fear controls our life and our choices.  With this awareness we can then begin to make better choices to create the happiness that we want.  We begin to notice the little things.  A laugh, a smile, time with family and friends, time with yourself, giving or receiving a word of encouragement, a compliment, the joy that children, animals, and nature bring to us.  These are the treasures that enhance our happiness, not some grand achievement that only give us a lift for a short while.

I’ve learned that focusing on the present, accepting the life I have now, consciously recognizing the things I do have in my life to be grateful for, appreciating brief moments, small miracles, and choosing to recognize and acknowledge my little victories are the keys that move me towards my happiness.

People don’t choose to be unhappy, yet they don’t think they have a choice.  I didn’t believe that I picked that state of being, but I did believe that my unhappiness was a result of being wronged, feeling unworthy, less fortunate, and that I didn’t have control over this outcome.  I did acknowledge that something did happen to cause the feeling of unhappiness but the issue was that I had a choice in how I responded to what happened.  I could decide to stay unhappy or I could decide to accept that something did happen, feel it, allow myself to be in it, then make the decision to move on and allow myself to be happy.  I had to make that choice for myself.  When I understood that I actually could choose to be happy or unhappy, and that I deserve and have a right to be happy, it began to change my life.

When we are not experiencing happiness, the brilliance of our heart and mind, the essence of who we are is hidden under clouds of negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.  The concepts and tools that I teach in Fearless Living empowered me, not only in reducing the cloud cover but guided me to understand and embrace my true nature of being happy.  Fearless Living helps you to understand the complete freedom you have in choosing happiness and that you deserve nothing less.

We do have the power to control whether we feel happy or not.

Warmly, Joyce


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How to Create the Life You Want

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

Self-confidence empowers us to live life fearlessly and happily.  Do I have Self-Confidence?  To answer that question, one could ask: Do I love myself?  Do I trust myself?  Do I believe in myself?  Do I treat myself kindly?  Do I enjoy being me?

The answer comes from our thoughts; those we think about most of the time have become our reality.  Thoughts are the result of beliefs.  At the very core of those beliefs that shape your life, your health, career, relationships, finances, and level of happiness are the thoughts you have about yourself.

Where does self-confidence come from?  It comes from the feedback of others, and from our own internal self-interpretations.  For example, does a child have self-confidence who has never experienced the love, encouragement, and praise from a parent?  Does a comedian have self-confidence who has never made people laugh?  Does an engineer have self-confidence who has never developed a design that works?  Does a lover have self-confidence who has never experienced the joys of intimacy with another?  Our self-confidence comes from the way we interpret our experiences.

Having self-confidence doesn’t mean that we don’t make mistakes.  We all make mistakes and we are all capable of criticizing self, our body, our mate, our career, and our children while neglecting to see those qualities that are attractive.  As we choose to shift our thinking and are able to look at our mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow, self-confidence arises out of what was formerly disapproval and judgment of self and others.

When you have self-confidence you are able to trust yourself and begin to listen to your own inner voice.  You know you are able to rely on your own choices, decisions, and actions.  You have peace of mind regardless of your current circumstances.  You have the ability to reduce the anxiety that is so detrimental to a youthful, healthy life.

Are you willing to recreate yourself to have the life you want?  It’s important to remember that creation takes place in each moment.  It’s a process and requires you to be gentle, patient, and loving to yourself.  It requires you to accept yourself as you are now in order to become the person you want to be.  It requires you to begin choosing your thoughts.  As you continue to create the person you want to be, the new thoughts will become as automatic as the old ones had been.  Though it isn’t easy to create new mental habit patterns, with practice it becomes possible.  Expect that your self-work will give you results, and it will.

I would love to hear from you and any thoughts you have on how our thoughts  affect our self-confidence and our life.   

Warmly, Joyce

Interested in learning more?

Email:  joyce@unlockingyourvision.com Phone:  858-945-4928

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