Archive for the ‘General’ Category

Limiting Beliefs

Monday, May 4th, 2009

What do you believe about yourself?  Do you think it’s too late to change?  Do you think that you are less talented, less creative, or less intelligent than others?  Do you think it’s too late to travel, take an art class, start a business, or make new friends?  Do you think that your health keeps you from doing what you want?  Do all of these thoughts wear you out and drain your energy?


All of these thoughts keep you stuck in your limited comfort zone.  We may not be happy there, but it is familiar to us so it feels safe. Growth and change simply will not happen inside of our comfort zone.  We have to face our fear and begin to look for opportunities to step out of our comfort zone just a little beyond the safe and familiar.

All of us have beliefs and opinions about ourselves – who we are, our likes and dislikes, our capabilities and limitations.  We sometimes look at possible experiences – travel, events, projects, jobs, creative classes, exercise – and think we know what we’ll enjoy or not enjoy, what will feel good to us and what won’t feel good, and how we will react to people and places. Have you ever thought that maybe these beliefs aren’t even true and possibly you’ve made them up?

None of us know what an experience will be like until we are in it.  And even if we’ve had an experience before it may be a different experience three years later.  We will be a different person in three, five, or ten years and we will have a completely different experience based on who we are right now.

Our subconscious mind – our ego wants us to believe limited beliefs and thoughts about ourself.  It is deeply invested in its self perception.  If we believe what the ego tells us, we will stay within its self-perception and become more and more entrenched in who we think we are.  Our comfort zone will not only stay the same, it may shrink as we become more and more convinced of ourselves as limited beings.

The fact is we don’t know who we truly are.  We are not limited beings. We are devine beings and we have a spiritual resource – our intuition – that can help us shift our perception about ourselves.

When we connect with our intuition we recognize that it’s okay to not truly know anything about ourselves and that it’s a good thing.  We can then approach our life with curiosity and excitement.  We can let go of expectations and judgment.  We can let go of attachment and embrace constant self-discovery.  We can simply be with what is, and constantly delight in discovering who we are right now, knowing that next week, we may be completely different.  We can choose to let go of fear and embrace life to the fullest.

What steps can you take outside of your comfort zone this week?  What could happen if you did?  When was the last time you surprised yourself?  Take ten minutes every day to visualize what it could look like to step out of your comfort zone and dare to do something you never thought possible. How could it change your life?

If you take this challenge I would love to hear from you about your experience.

Sending you love, good health, and protection.

Warmly, Joyce

Joyce Henderson
Certified Fearless Living Coach
Certified Life Purpose and Career Coach
www.unlockingyourvision.com
www.thedolphinmovie.com
joyce@unlockingyourvision.com
678-380-7361

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Connecting to our Higher Self

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

What is your Higher Self?  It is that beautiful part of us that connects us to God, the Universe, our Spiritual Intelligence, Spirit, Jesus, or Buddha depending on your religious beliefs.  Most of us have tried many practices in order to connect to this spiritual part of us – prayer, meditation, yoga, affirmations, and visualization.  At times we have felt successful when our life is going smoothly and we seem to have what we want and our feelings are that of inner peace, joy, contentment, and harmony. Yet so easily we can be back into that confused state of feeling fear, doubt, confusion and wondering what happened.  We try to connect again but maybe this time it doesn’t work and we wonder why, what are we doing different, what are we doing wrong?  We go away more confused about our connection to God .  

The world is so complex and when we are so caught up in the illusion of things having to be a certain way we are then disconnected from our Higher Self.  When we are caught up in the illusion of how things should be or shouldn’t be it is then that our conscious mind is being easily influenced by our subconscious mind – where our core negative beliefs stay hidden.  They stay hidden because we don’t want to look at them.  We want to avoid them and pretend they don’t exist.  Most of the time we do this unconsciously and that continues to give those core negative beliefs power to influence our choices and our life experiences.  

Think of a time when your conscious mind came up with a wonderful idea or thought about something you wanted, something you wanted to do, or something you wanted to change in your life.  But before you could begin seeing the possibility of this happening and the opportunities that the Universe/God has presented to you, your subconscious mind began sending messages of discouragement telling you the many reasons why you couldn’t do what you wanted, why you couldn’t have what you wanted, or why you couldn’t be what you wanted.  

Here are some possible reasons or excuses you may have told yourself:  I can’t do this – what am I thinking – I’m not smart enough – I’m not spiritual enough – I’m not good enough – who am I to think I deserve this – other people are more important than I am.  When these thoughts/core negative beliefs come up – who usually wins most of the time – your conscious thoughts of wanting and having, or your subconscious beliefs that you can’t have what you want and you don’t deserve to want it?  

Our subconscious mind/core negative beliefs are stronger than our conscious mind leading us to give up, without a fight, on what we really want and so we settle.  The fear of not being able to have what we want causes us to stay in victim mode because we believe deep down that things will never change.    

How can we change this?  WOW!!  I’m right there with you as I have tried so many ways to connect with my higher self – my spiritual intelligence on a regular basis.  I’ve tried many things to create what it is that I want.  In many programs we’re told we have to reprogram those old thoughts and beliefs about ourself that keep us stuck.  We try and yet those old thoughts and beliefs continue to stop us from taking action, from stepping out of our comfort zone, from taking a risk and going for what we want.  We still continue to allow those old thoughts and beliefs to determine our actions most of the time.  

I believe the reason for this is that our old belief system started in our Mother’s womb and has helped to create our old thoughts and behavior patterns.  That is a life long accumulation of negative stuff to try and reprogram.  If we could do it it would take a long, long time.  We may succeed to a small degree but it continues to be more work than we want.  

What I have learned from my own experience is that we can recognize and accept that we have these old beliefs and that it’s okay to have them.  They’re a part of us and they are always going to be in our subconscious.  That isn’t a bad thing, it’s just what it is.  

Being honest about our old beliefs and our feelings about them will help us to turn our focus on our new beliefs and how we can support those. Being clear on what isn’t working and what we don’t want helps us to become clear on what will work and what we do want.  Clarity helps us to bypass those old beliefs and supports our focus in turning our thoughts to our new beliefs.  

Remember those old beliefs are always going to show up when you least expect it.  It all comes down to your willingness to recognize them and accept them, then choose right at that moment to shift your thinking. To be able to do this you have to know what it is that you do want.  Sometimes we aren’t really sure what that is when we are asked.  So take the time to describe what it is you feel you are lacking, clarify what it is you want, list the reasons why you want it and how it would benefit your life.  Even if you want it for the sheer pleasure of having it that is okay.  Until you are completely honest with yourself in being clear about what you want, describing it, and giving the reasons why you want it you can’t create it.  

If you are at a place in your life where you’re recognizing your desire to become more connected to your Higher Self please email joyce@unlockingyourvision.com or call me at 858-945-4928 and I will be happy to have a consultation with you to find clarity as to what it is that you want and how to achieve it.  I will support and empower you with compassion, understanding, acceptance, and with the tools that will move you quickly forward.  You will learn what is holding you back and what is needed in order for you to stop sabotaging yourself from creating the life you want.  Choosing to connect daily with your Higher Self will strengthen your ability to create what you are wanting and then your core negative beliefs will begin to have less and less power in your life.  

You were meant to have a great life, to feel passion, fulfillment, contentment, and joy in living and being; connecting to your Higher Self will support you in having all of that.

I would love to hear your comments on “Connecting to our Higher Self”. 

Warmly, Joyce

joyce@unlockingyourvision.com

www.unlockingyourvision.com

www.thedolphinmovie.com




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Being Open to the Holidays

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008
How can we achieve “Being Open to the Holidays”?  We all have different expectations and different reasons to celebrate the holiday season; such as religion, family and friends, presents, decorations, parties, food, or giving to those less fortunate.  As I was thinking about the many different reasons for this holiday season and how we can be open to these experiences I thought of two questions:  “What is the joy of simply being open to life?  “How can I accomplish this as I prepare for the holidays and on Christmas Day?”  As these questions are answered you will gain insight and understanding which will allow you the ability to create and make this holiday season the best ever and then continue to apply these principles in the coming New Year.   

 

For me the joy of simply being open to life is being open to the challenges that are presented to me each and every day.  The joy is in choosing to look at these experiences as opportunities to learn more about myself, about others, and about life.  The joy is in the insights and awareness’s I receive which supports me in looking at life with love and acceptance.  This creates more joy. 

 

Joy is created as we accept our self and others for who we are – weaknesses and strengths.  We can only do this when we choose to let go of our expectations.  Expectations can set us up for disappointment.  We can’t control what other people choose to say or do.  We can only control our own choices.  Begin to recognize words that tell you your in expectations – I should, I have to, I need to, I’m expected to – and instead ask yourself, “Do I want to do this?” 

 

Recognizing whether you are doing something because you want to or because of expectations will support you in how you approach the decision you do make and then how you follow through – either with joy or dread.  If you feel “dread” then expectations are in play.  If you choose to do something that you dread, take time to think about it and choose to become aware of why you feel that way.  Then you can begin looking for the positive reasons why you are choosing to do something instead of feeling you have too.  Remember, you are in control of making the choice, and because of that you are in control of either making it a dreadful experience or a joyful experience. 
 
For some of us this will take daily focus on taking responsibility for all of our choices.  Everything we do is a choice.  If you choose to take a risk and not do something that is expected of you look at it as an opportunity to practice saying “NO”.  Saying “No” and choosing “You” is okay!!  You don’t have to make excuses and you don’t have to blame yourself or someone else for the choice that you make. 

 

How can we let go of our expectations as we prepare for Christmas Day – by turning them into Intentions?  Once we have identified our expectations, there is a much greater possibility of attaining freedom from being disappointed in others behavior and their reaction to us, and in being disappointed in our self.  You can learn how to reframe your expectations into Intention.  Expectations are what you think ought to happen as a result of what you do, say, or plan.  It’s dependant upon an outside source.  Whereas, Intentions are your approach to life based on the person you truly are – your essence.  It’s dependant only on you – your internal source. When you are focused on your Intention you become focused in the present and you become open to life around you. 

 

What’s so wonderful is that when you act out of Intention instead of expectations, you begin to experience the joy of being open to life and you expand the possibility for more positive outcomes.  When you live in Intention you are able to find your courage and make the choices that support the person you are truly meant to be.  Setting an intention can support you in having your best holiday season ever.  Take the time to visualize what it is that you want to happen this holiday season.  Ask yourself these questions; how do I want to show up and how can I create my best holiday season ever?   

 

Gratitude’s are also valuable in supporting your intention and turning your holiday experience into something good that will help not only you but other people as well.  Gratitude’s help you to recognize all that is right and beautiful in your life and in your day.  Gratitude’s help you to acknowledge your fine qualities, abilities, and accomplishments.  Gratitude’s support you in spending your time and energy in the moment rather than trying to understand the why.  When you are in a state of Gratitude you allow your peaceful voice of intuition to become your primary guiding force.

 

Gratitude’s do more than make you feel good for awhile, they literally change the way you think.  Gratitude’s shift your focus so that you are aware of what you have instead of what you don’t have.  When you make Gratitude’s an important part of your day this holiday season, you will increase your ability to see opportunities and possibilities where perhaps none existed before. 

 

As Christmas Day approaches make a list of all the people and things in your life that you are grateful for.  Try to put aside any dread, anger, resentment, or disappointment and focus on creating good thoughts.  Think about the opportunities and possibilities that are available to you on that day.  Set an intention around how you want to show up on Christmas Day.  Become clear in your mind as to what you want to experience and what will support you in achieving that goal.  Setting an intention, being grateful, looking for opportunities and possibilities, and being clear on what it is that you want will help you to focus on the present moment and enjoy what is happening now. 

 

I wish you the best Holiday Season ever!!!

 

Blessings, Joyce

 

I would enjoy hearing your comments on what “Being Open to the Holidays” means to you…

 

 

Joyce Henderson

Certified Fearless Living Coach

Certified Life Purpose and Career Coach

joyce@unlockingyourvision.com

JoyceHenderson@FearlessLiving.org

www.unlockingyourvision.com

www.thedolphinmovie.com

858 945-4928 cell/work

858 486-4928 home

858 486-6407 fax

 

 

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Expectations

Monday, November 3rd, 2008

Many people, including myself, have experienced a strong sense of unconditional love through our encounters with dolphins.  These serene experiences suggest that the dolphins seemingly unconditional love triggers the release of pent-up emotions and deep seated feelings trapped inside of us leaving us with a sense of well-being.    

 

Some healers believe that conditional love (expecting something in return) can create exhaustion and depression of the immune system leading to physical vulnerability; whereas unconditional love (without expectations) is a powerful stimulant to the immune system.  If this is so, it is no wonder dolphins appear to be able to help people recover from depression and other illnesses. 

 

Many of us tend to think we give unconditional love but often it is accompanied with expectations.  We expect things to happen a certain way.  Our family and friends are thrown into the struggle as we expect as much from them as we do from ourselves.  And, when we’ve done all we “should” do, “paid our dues” and “gone the extra mile”, we want guaranteed results and to be treated fairly in return.  Disappointment is always around the corner if things don’t turn out the way we expect. 

 

Expectations that are unspoken, unrealistic and unmet can cause us to make choices that can be harmful to us and to those we love.  When we assume others can read our mind and know what we need, want, or desire we are setting them up for failure and for future blame.   It seems easier to blame others rather than look inside of ourselves for answers.  In truth, we are the only one who is responsible for getting our own needs met.  We want to practice communicating our needs, wants, and desires clearly, otherwise, nobody involved has a clear idea of what went wrong.  We simply feel confused and powerless.  But no one is doing anything to us we are reacting to our own fear. 

 

Our expectations don’t make us wrong or stupid.  They make us human.   In most cases we all just want to be understood, respected, and loved and when we don’t feel that way our fear is triggered, things become confused, and we look to others or things to make us feel better.  When we push that responsibility onto others then we have no control because we’ve given our power away.  We have to be willing to take responsibility for our own feelings, our own choices, and that’s where we have the power to change things. 

 

The good news is that once we begin to identify the expectations that trigger our fear, we will be able to take proactive, self affirming actions to help us get back into our freedom of unconditional love and acceptance of our self and others.  Life is a continuous process of change with challenges at every level of growth.  Fear will always come up, but we’ll get better and better at eliminating the kind of expectations that prevent us from outsmarting and mastering our fear. 

 

As we accept that our expectations are a part of being human and as we accept that the feelings of fear, sadness, anger, self judgment, and disappointment will come up then those feelings become much more workable.  We recognize that those feelings are just like the weather – always changing, coming and going through our lives.  And what they pass through is the vast spaciousness of who we truly are.  As we become aware we are able to accept, and embrace those negative feelings, learn from their message, and then let go of any identification with them.  Thus allowing them to visit us temporarily, move through us, and then let them go. 

 

I send you Love and Blessings, Joyce 

 

I would like to hear your views on expectations and how they affect your life.  

 

  

 

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Are You Voting on November 4th?

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

We are all living, whether we like to admit it or not, in turbulent times right now.  We are consumed with fear and our faith is being tested.  Everyday I wakeup with the intention to think positively, focus on the good but even with the best intentions I sometimes find myself failing miserably.  But, instead of beating myself up, complaining, making excuses, or avoiding the situation, I ask myself. “what is the gift in all of this mess?” In order to find the gift we must look for it and ask ourselves ”what is right during these challenging times and what is it that we can learn?” 

 

Don’t let fear keep you stuck by complaining, making excuses, or ignoring the situation.  This is an opportunity to be a part of the change that is needed in helping our country move forward and thrive.  In order to be a part of this opportunity we have to VOTE on election day, November 4th, 2008.  I’ve included a blog written my Rhonda Britten, founder of Fearless Living Institute and author of “Fearless Living”.  This article expresses my feelings and I hope encourages you to be a part of this time of challenge.

Warmly, Joyce

 

Election – written by Rhonda Britten 

This election, being fearless means you will:
1. Vote
I have spoken to many folks and some are hemming and hawing not sure who to vote for. The next words out of their mouth shock me: I will vote but not for the President. Or I hear: I just don’t know who to vote for so I just won’t vote.WHAT!!!?!?!?!?!
Indecision is a natural part of the process but deciding not to decide IS deciding. If you don’t vote, you are giving the rest of the nation the opportunity to choose your fate. I challenge you to figure out where else in your life you are allowing ‘fate’ to make your decisions for you. This is a passive way to live and not the fearless path.

2. Language
Become aware of the fearbased language the candidates use as well as their fearless words. What issues concern you? Pay attention to how the candidates are proposing to solve them. What is their process? Are they making suggestions based on the fear of the masses? Are they creating long lasting solutions? Listen, listen, listen. Do not let your Wheel of Fear listen for you.

3. Think about your great grandchildren
The challenges we face right now are ones that must be solved for the long-term. Short-term solutions are band-aids. Sometimes we need a band-aid but if we keep the band-aid on too long it gets crusty, infected and ineffective. A band-aid is not a solution. Just like a wound we must let it heal and that takes time and care.

Every election is critical for the creation of the United States of America. We are literally choosing how our nation will develop based on the candidates and their policies.

I urge us all to pay attention to how we listen, how we decide, how we vote.

We will have a new President. Decide to have your voice be heard. Vote.

“Invest in the life you have now to get the life you want”  Rhonda Britten

To learn more about Fearless Living go to:  www.fearlessliving.org 

Courage is a door that can only be opened from the inside.
– Terry Neil

 

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How to Create the Life You Want

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

Self-confidence empowers us to live life fearlessly and happily.  Do I have Self-Confidence?  To answer that question, one could ask: Do I love myself?  Do I trust myself?  Do I believe in myself?  Do I treat myself kindly?  Do I enjoy being me?

The answer comes from our thoughts; those we think about most of the time have become our reality.  Thoughts are the result of beliefs.  At the very core of those beliefs that shape your life, your health, career, relationships, finances, and level of happiness are the thoughts you have about yourself.

Where does self-confidence come from?  It comes from the feedback of others, and from our own internal self-interpretations.  For example, does a child have self-confidence who has never experienced the love, encouragement, and praise from a parent?  Does a comedian have self-confidence who has never made people laugh?  Does an engineer have self-confidence who has never developed a design that works?  Does a lover have self-confidence who has never experienced the joys of intimacy with another?  Our self-confidence comes from the way we interpret our experiences.

Having self-confidence doesn’t mean that we don’t make mistakes.  We all make mistakes and we are all capable of criticizing self, our body, our mate, our career, and our children while neglecting to see those qualities that are attractive.  As we choose to shift our thinking and are able to look at our mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow, self-confidence arises out of what was formerly disapproval and judgment of self and others.

When you have self-confidence you are able to trust yourself and begin to listen to your own inner voice.  You know you are able to rely on your own choices, decisions, and actions.  You have peace of mind regardless of your current circumstances.  You have the ability to reduce the anxiety that is so detrimental to a youthful, healthy life.

Are you willing to recreate yourself to have the life you want?  It’s important to remember that creation takes place in each moment.  It’s a process and requires you to be gentle, patient, and loving to yourself.  It requires you to accept yourself as you are now in order to become the person you want to be.  It requires you to begin choosing your thoughts.  As you continue to create the person you want to be, the new thoughts will become as automatic as the old ones had been.  Though it isn’t easy to create new mental habit patterns, with practice it becomes possible.  Expect that your self-work will give you results, and it will.

I would love to hear from you and any thoughts you have on how our thoughts  affect our self-confidence and our life.   

Warmly, Joyce

Interested in learning more?

Email:  joyce@unlockingyourvision.com Phone:  858-945-4928

To subscribe to monthly newsletter go to www.unlockingyourvision.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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No Beating Yourself Up

Monday, July 28th, 2008

Do you ever put yourself down for not getting everything done, not getting it done right, and not getting it done fast enough? Do you ever feel guilty because you think you could have done the work better? Do you ever feel worthless because nothing you do seems good enough? Do you ever say to yourself, “What the heck is wrong with you?” “How could you do something like that?” “Won’t you ever learn?”

Beating yourself up will never motivate you to change. Beating yourself up with negative self-talk is the single most damaging thing you can do to yourself. As Rhonda Britten would say, “You’re spinning on the wheel of fear.” When you beat yourself up your confidence, courage, and self-esteem are damaged. You disempower yourself and it keeps you in your negative self-talk.

What if you stopped beating yourself up and instead empowered yourself in any situation? You could accomplish living your life on your own terms. You could shift your negative thoughts about yourself to empowering thoughts. You would begin to notice the things that you do well. You would begin to notice your unique qualities, your skills, your talents, and accept that you’re okay just the way you are.

Awareness is the key and can empower you to stop beating yourself up. Increased awareness helps you to hear your negative self-talk immediately after you utter it. By catching it more quickly you can then choose to stop it and shift to more empowering, good feeling thoughts leading to positive actions

Acknowledging yourself daily is an amazing tool to stop the habit of beating yourself up. This technique builds your self-esteem and your ability to count on yourself. It is a specific way of giving yourself credit – credit that is no doubt long overdue. Acknowledgments are an incredible tool for self-discovery, giving you the ability to increase your awareness of who you really are and at the same time validating your achievements.

Trying to be perfect only leads you to disappointment. Learn to be kind and compassionate to yourself, give yourself a break, and quit trying to be perfect.

I would like to receive your thoughts on fear and how it can control our lives and our choices.

Sending You Love and Blessings, Joyce

View my inspirational dolphin video www.thedolphinmovie.com

“Live the Life Your Soul Intended” quote by Rhonda Britten founder of the Fearless Living Institute and author of the book “Fearless Living”. www.FearlessLiving.org

We are what we repeatedly do.

–Aristotle

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” –Oliver Wendell Holmes

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